Friday, 29 April 2011

How Atheism Nearly Cost Me My Life

Assalamu Alaykum.

Imagine being hunted. You cannot see your attacker, but you know that the attacker will catch up with you. So you run anyway. Run. You reach a crossroads, and you do not know which road to take. You pick any, it doesn't matter to you, because the attacker will catch up with you. At some point, you slow down, and you forget about the attacker. But then, later, you'll remember the chase. And you'll keep running, and running, and running. Until you're so tired that you don't even care about what's going to happen to you. So you stop. You say, "There's no point in this running, if the attacker is going to catch up with me anyway." And in the end, the chase ends, the attacker catches up, and the attack is vicious.

The attacker represents death.
The chase represents life.
The crossroads represent decisions you make throughout life.

That is how I felt when I was an atheist. In case you're Muslim and never had the chance to experience what it is like to be an atheist, then I thought I'd tell you. Atheism, to me, is synonymous with despair and hopelessness. Why?

Because there is no God.

Which means, life after death does not exist.
Which means, no matter how sinful you are, it would not matter to you.
Which means, the temptations (e.g. drugs, alcohol, extramarital sex) are extra tempting.

And the temptation is so strong, once you are hooked, you cannot stop. You indulge into a sinful, wicked thing, and you want more. And you do not stop because there is no God, and it does not matter.

That is what atheism was like for me.

There was a period in my life where I went through depression, and I once tried to kill myself. Astaghfirullah. Alhamdulillah, it did not work. I did it because I was selfish. I did it because I did not care about anyone, and there was no incentive to lead a better life. I did it because death was a way to stop the bad things from happening.

Getting to know God solved a lot of questions for me. It solved, first and foremost, how I am here, why I am here. It solved why suffering occurs. Religion has taught me that suffering was a way for me to become a better person, to learn from my mistakes, and also a way to overwhelm and counteract against the sins I keep on committing (see reflections on suffering!).

Atheism nearly cost me my life.
Islam has given me a rebirth.

Islam has given me the chance to become a new person, see the light and the truth, become happier, and lead a better life. I leave you with these quotes to help you through times of sacrifice and suffering. Allah Hafiz!

"Verily, with hardship comes ease." - The Holy Qur'an

"It is He Who has created death and life that He might try you—which of you is best in deeds; and He is the Mighty, the Most Forgiving." - The Holy Qur'an

My Muslim Name

Assalamu Alaykum.

As you might know, Muslim reverts can pick a Muslim name, that may be with a meaning to which they are attached. My birth name means "God of War," and no doubt, I did not want to go by in the Muslim community with a name that not only has violent connotations, but also commits the sin of shirk (idolatry or polytheism).

My name "Nasir al-Din" is not official, however, since I do not want to bother changing my name on my passport.

Google time. At first, I wanted to choose a name that sounded like my real name, however, none of them had a meaning to which I related. I read about the "abd - (name of Allah)" format, but I figured that it was way too long for me.

I asked my (only) Muslim friend at the time what "Nasir" meant, because my Mum's friend's friend was called "Nasir," and I googled it too. Then I found out it meant "Defender." My Muslim friend suggested "al-Din" as a last name to accompany "Nasir." Then all the pieces fit together.

Nasir al-Din.
Defender of the Faith.

I love having this name. Not only because it is a chance for a new identity in Islam, but also because of its meaning. I have always loved to defend what I truly believe in, and when I was Christian, I believed that God called on me to help people understand religion, and to help bring people towards Him, and be the catalyst.

The new name has also helped me become more open about Islam, and helped in my introduction to new brothers and sisters in the Ummah.

I leave you with this quote from the Holy Qur'an:

"He is God, the Creator, the Maker Who shapes all
forms and appearances
His are the most beautiful names.
All that is in the heavens and the earth
extols His limitless glory
and He is the Mighty, the Wise."
(Quran Chapter 59:24)


PS: Leave a comment below and tell me about your Muslim name and what it means to you. Allah Hafiz!

What I (Will) Have Given Up for Islam

Assalamu Alaykum.

As my Muslim friend (TheSisterWhoSmiles) reminds me all the time, being a Muslim is not state of being - it's a process of becoming. No matter how much of a sinner we are, we can always make conscious decisions to become a better Muslim as part of our spiritual Lesser Jihad.

"The best jihad [struggle] is the one who strives against his own self for Allah, The Mighty and Majestic." - Hadith

I've given up many things for Islam, and am currently in the process of giving up some more things. Being brought up in an Islamophobic family, there have been major obstacles which I had to fight to become a better Muslim.

Here are some of my personal obstacles:

Alcohol. My father loves it and its various forms: beer, wine, vodka, whisky, etc. Every now and then, he buys a new brand of alcohol, and he expects my mother and I to try some, and I do, sometimes. Most of the time, I make an excuse about studying for an exam. I haven't told my parents that I have reverted, mainly because I am still living with them and I do not want any arguments. But insha'Allah I will tell them in the future. I have vowed that I will not drink alcohol, but I think this is going to be one of my greatest struggles.

Pork. I love(d) it. Bacon, Sausages, Pork Pies - very British, and very delicious. Islam, however, forbids it, as it is "unclean" and is destructive towards the soul. I still sometimes eat pork, even after my reversion, maybe once or twice a month. Astaghfirullah. I hope that by the end of this year, I will be pork-free, insha'Allah. Besides, it's high in cholesterol.

Swearing. My mother loves it. I hear it all the time from my mother, my friends (and enemies), and, of course, songs and movies often contain it. These influences have surrounded and it hurts that I cannot escape from it fully. Being trapped in a profane world is not very... conducive for a moral soul. Sometimes, I swear accidentally without realising, and it is a constant reminder of my sins, and things for which I have to atone.

Forgetting to Pray. My excuse is that I've never been to a Mosque, because there isn't one anywhere near where I live, and neither are there many "properly-practising" Muslims. Because of this, I just forget to pray, and when I remember, I forget the Arabic, but I carry on in English nevertheless. Someone please teach me how to pray properly?

Not Fasting. Since my parents don't know I was Muslim last Ramadan, they made sure on several occasions that I ate breakfast and dinner. Lunches at school were difficult, but I tried as much as I could. Insha'Allah this Ramadan will be much, much easier.

Disrespect to Parents. Unfortunately, this happens all the time, due to disagreements. Astaghfirullah. I pray that this year will be a better year for my family.

... I'm sure there are many more, and I hope anyone reading this could give me any tips on how to become a better Muslim. :)
"Say: 'I seek refuge in the Lord of Daybreak from the mischief of His creation; from the mischief of the night when she spreads her darkness; from the mischief of conjuring witches; from the mischief of the envier, when he envies.'" - The Holy Qur'an (Surah 113)

Allah Knows

Assalamu Alaykum.

Such a beautiful song from one of the best Nasheed artists! Hope you find some consolation or inspiration from this song. Allah swt does know!

"Verily, with hardship, comes ease." - The Holy Qur'an

Thursday, 28 April 2011

Ishq-e Majāzi: Love for Allah's Creation

Assalamu Alaykum.

I have found this Tumblr post that has really inspired me. I hope it will inspire you too, no matter whether you're Muslim or non Muslim: Ishq-e Majāzi
"for those of you ask for signs have We not shown you enough already? look around you. look at the stars, look at the sun, and look at the water. these are the signs of the people of knowledge."

10 Things That Frustrate Me About Atheists

Assalamu Alaykum.

  1. Supposed Intelligence - If they're so intelligent, why aren't they think about where we came from and why we're here in the world. Humans don't just come out of nothing, ex nihilo with no creator.
  2. Scepticism - All atheists ever do is be cynical about religion, point out the negatives, belittle it, say that religious people are idiots and stupid, etc. I'm sure you've come into contact with an atheist asking you all sorts of questions like "Who made God?" Even Surah 112:3 answers this question. "He neither begot any nor was He begotten." Maybe the atheists should read scriptures before they ask stupid questions like that.
  3. Superstitious Beliefs - I must admit that not all atheists are superstitious, and maybe some Muslims are. But seriously? Black cats, Friday 13th, the number 13, breaking mirrors, walking under ladders, four-leafed clovers? And you call us ignorant?
  4. Mocking Theists - Theists are always usually hardworking, honest, charitable, etc. Believing in Allah/God means that we try to do good. So don't mock us. The whole idea that we believe in God and we try to do good, and only do good, and apologize for our sins, and be charitable is so that we don't go to hell. Don't mock our good ways.
  5. Close-mindedness - Science changes all the time. Religion doesn't. Atheists might think they're rational and scientific, but if they want to be true "scientists" or believing in science, they should be open-minded, which includes not refuting that God does not exist.
  6. "I'm right, you're wrong" Attitude - Speaks for itself. Atheists seem to think there's no other way life could have ever come about and God could not possibly exist because. Because what?
  7. Disrespect - Laughing at us when we say, "God willing," or "Praise the Lord!", even when it is sometimes slightly enthusiastic, is SO disrespectful. Our belief does not affect your life. The fact that we worship God does not affect your life.
  8. Ignorance - I'm not insulting atheists. But they simply have no idea about religion. They haven't read the Bible, the Qur'an, the Torah. So how could they ever hope to make a proper decision?
  9. Selfishness - This is not true for all atheists. But let's say something good happens to a Muslim, for example he passed an exam. First thing he says? Alhamdulillah! He is praising the Lord, and thankfulness is an important trait. An atheist has no reason to be charitable, hardworking and thankful.
  10. "We're all going to die anyway, so why should I bother doing anything good in my life" - I hear this all the time as an excuse to sleep all day, binge drink, smoke, have sex, eat as much as they want, waste taxpayers money, etc.
If you are an atheist reading this, and you believe in the Big Bang because the world's expanding, and you think that the Qur'an was only written by ignorant and unscientific people many, many years ago, then I leave you this:
“It is We Who have built the universe with (Our creative) power, and, verily, it is We Who are steadily expanding it.” - The Holy Qur'an (Surah 51:47)

PS: I have nothing against Science, in fact I'm a bit of a "scientist" myself. ;) Have a good day, and may Allah keep sending you His blessings.

Why "The Big Bang Theory" Is Flawed

Assalamu Alaykum.
Atheism. A word to me synonymous with ignorance and arrogance, I associate atheists with an unwarranted temerity to criticize religion. I find it ironic that atheists think that religious people are ignorant and arrogant. Suffice to say, this debate will carry on forever.
Verily, those who disbelieve spend their wealth to hinder men from the Path of Allah, and so will they continue to spend it; but in the end it will become an anguish for them. The
n they will be overcomed. And those who disbelieve will be gathered unto Hell. (Quran 8:36)
I used to be an atheist, but not for long. I am naturally inquisitive, both in scientific fields and philosophical fields. A long time ago, Science's explanation of the Big Bang and the creation of life seemed to me as a great explanation. Just visualise it!

A sudden explosion lights the dark sky (which you would not be able to see, since space wasn't supposedly created then), and suddenly all the energy and mass needed in the world to make the world is created. Then, all of a sudden, just by a small chance (0.000000000000000000000000001% chance), the earth forms at just the right temperature, the right distance from celestial objects, the right molecules to support life. Then suddenly, all of these molecules just randomly, JUST BY CHANCE, somehow sparked and arranged themselves in a way that it becomes a molecule that replicates itself, and somehow after thousands millions of years, it formed humans.


I don't buy it.

Imagine someone telling you this: "A salvage yard on the south side of town blows up and all the metal pieces fly into the air and fall back down in one place forming a brand new Chevrolet Caprice car, and the motor is running."


"An explosion occurs in a forest and the trees go flying into the air and then suddenly they combine with some flying cloth to make a beautiful chair and then it lands in a furniture showroom complete with matching table and lamp."

You'd think they're crazy.

No one has ever seen before human times. No atheist can say, "I have seen the Big Bang and human evolution take place."

Creationism, on the other hand, has a lot of evidence in the form of scriptures, revelations and The Holy Qur'an.

Say those without knowledge: "Why speaketh not Allah unto us? or why cometh not unto us a Sign?" So said the people before them words of similar import. Their hearts are alike. We have indeed made clear the Signs unto any people who hold firmly to Faith (in their hearts). - The Holy Quran (Surah 2:118)

The theory of human evolution stemming from single celled organisms is also preposterous. Although there has been some evidence that some organisms evolve, or more accurately, adapt to their environment (like antibiotic-resistant bacteria), there is no evidence about single celled organisms having the capacity to change into multi-cellular organisms, and into humans.

And another thing, it still doesn't solve the question of why humans can think and communicate effectively, and be able to make amazing technology. If evolution was so real, then why aren't dogs talking to each other, why aren't birds chatting on Facebook (oh yeah, because they're tweeting instead), why don't elephants have huge skyscrapers?

It doesn't take a million brain cells to work out that Allah made us, and gave us our gifts. Alhamdulillah!

Tuesday, 26 April 2011


Assalamu Alaykum.

Recently, I received a text from a Muslim friend. I thought I'd share it with you:


Sometimes, Allah breaks our spirit to save our soul.
  • He breaks our heart to make us whole.
  • He sends us pain so we can be stronger.
  • He sends us failure so we can be humble.
  • He sends us illness so we can take better care of
  • He takes something away from us so we can learn the value of everything we have.
Trust Allah, love Allah, Allah is the greatest.

Subhan'Allah! This text makes me smile so much! I take a lot of meaning from this, and I'm sure you will too.

Before reverting, I was involved in a relationship that ended on the worst possible terms. I felt broken, and emotions were cluttering my head, but looking back, I realised that if the emotions had not flowed from my tears, and if my "spirit," as it were, had not been broken, then I would be so detached from the world, and emotionally impassive.

The emotional pain I felt after the break up made me into such a stronger person. I have learnt a lot and I have become more determined and resolute in ambitions, as opposed to drifting along, not knowing what to do.

Physical pain, too, features in my interpretation of this poem. When I first started playing guitar, my fretting fingers would be in constant pain, but I was steadfast. The calluses that have built up over months and months of playing not only has made sure that I no longer feel pain when I play guitar, but I can now also hold hot cups without feeling much pain. Masha'Allah!

Failure in one of my exams has definitely put me back on humble ground, and I am glad that Allah has sent me failure; I would have grown proud and not only lost friends, but lost my relationship with Allah (swt).

Illness - been there, done that. I've had heart disease, tuberculosis, sinusitis, etc. Allah, if I don't know how to take care of myself by now, keep them coming. Notice the sarcasm there... I wonder if being funny or sarcastic in a funny way towards Allah is haraam. I mean, I'm sure He knows what I mean. ;) But that's besides the point.

Allahu Akbar! :)

5 Reasons Why I Reverted From Catholicism

Assalamu Alaykum.

I want to start off by saying this post is not meant to be an insult towards Catholicism, or Christianity in general. This post represents my views on Catholicism and why I reverted to Islam.

  1. The Triad - WHAT THE HECK?! I just don't get it. The Father, The Son, and The Holy Spirit. I can't comprehend a God having three forms. People say it's just like water being able to form ice, water, and gas. No, because I'm pretty sure if you burnt Jesus, he doesn't turn into The Holy Spirit (or The Father). Call me ignorant, but this doctrine just confuses me. What's more, who do we pray to? The Father? The Son? The Holy Spirit?
  2. One God: Allah - Ashhadu Alla Ilaha Illa Allah says it all. Why have three forms of God? God is God. How can you become the ruler of a nation, if you somehow recreate yourself, step down, become one of your servants, die, and then proclaim yourself God? Islam's one God: Allah is the main reason why I reverted to Islam.
  3. God Punishes Us - Some Catholics, including my relatives, believe that God punishes during our lifetime. Why? Sending people earthquakes, violence, volcanoes, etc. is not going to help us learn from our mistakes, anyway there's an eternity of hell afterwards for those who deserve to be punished.
  4. The Bible - The Bible, though it is "inspired" or "revealed" to us by God/Allah, the Nazarenes, who were the early Christians, changed and wrote their own parts to it, unlike The Holy Qur'an which is unchanging, and hasn't changed since Allah (swt) revealed it to The Holy Prophet (pbuh).
  5. The Holy Qur'an - Such an amazing book. I love that The Holy Qur'an is less likely (than The Bible) to be misinterpreted. Many Christians think that The Bible should be taken allegorically. I think a holy scripture such as The Qur'an should not be taken allegorically, and that's what it should be like. Otherwise, people can twist the sayings of our Lord.

The Two Wolves

Assalamu Alaykum.

I want to share this story that I read a couple of weeks ago:

The Two Wolves

A grandfather was teaching his grandchildren about life.

He said to them, “A fight is going on inside all of us - it is a terrible fight between two wolves.

"One wolf represents fear, anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, hatefulness, and lies.

"The other stands for joy, peace, love, hope, humbleness, kindness, friendship, generosity, faith, and truth.”

The children thought about it for a minute. Then one child asked his grandfather,

“Which wolf will win?”

The man replied, “The one you feed.”

I think about this story a lot, especially when I think about my actions. Its meaning shouts out to me every time I metaphorically feed the wolf that represents evil.

We all have our struggles. Our souls are hungry, and we must feed it the right nourishment. I like to nourish mine with a great helping from The Holy Qur'an, a pouring of prayer and a splash of smiles.

What do you feed your inner wolves?

Be Patient in Adversity

Assalamu Alaykum.
"Be patient in adversity, for verily, God will not let deny the reward of the righteous."
- The Holy Qur'an, 11:115

Beautiful. This verse gives me the strength to face all adversity, and the patience with which I live my life. I hope that this verse helps you too. Life is not easy - we all know this. But with the help of Allah (swt), we will keep climbing insha'Allah.

A Muslim friend of mine once likened the rewards of Allah to two gifts, with equal values: one gift is a big box of challenges for us to face, and the other is in a small box, at the bottom of the bigger box. We open the box of challenges first, and only until we have emptied it can we see the box of rewards.

Just as every night is followed by a bright day, Allah says in the glorious Qur'an:
"Verily, with hardship comes ease."
May these quotes inspire you to become a better Muslim, as they have inspired me.

The Muslimah Soapbox: Let the Tests Begin...

Assalamu Alaykum.

I want to share this blog to you, written by an American Muslimah who discusses controversial topics in order to educate infidels non-Muslims. Enough of the jokes! This is proper serious: The Muslimah Soapbox: Let the Tests Begin...

In this blog post, she talks about the tests that new Muslims and Muslims alike have to confront and attempt to pass. I say "attempt" because these tests are tests of faith. I take here a section of what she wrote:
"Allah SWT will test His followers in so many different ways. At times, it may feel so overwhelming and difficult but remember who was tested the hardest of all: His prophets. Whenever I think that my tests are difficult, I remember the stories of Issa AS, or Musa AS, or Muhammad SAWS. Put yourself in their shoes!"
This is so true. These tests, for me, have come in many manifestations. This may sound funny, but I really, really miss BACON. If you've never tried it, you just won't know how actually DELICIOUS it is (to me, anyway). I know it is haraam. But my mouth still waters at the sight of it. Once, I was tempted to buy a bacon sandwich at school. Ridiculous as it sounds, but I thought I actually heard my stomach WHIMPER for BACON.

Another time was when my Dad asked me to try some wine that he had recently bought from Tesco during Tesco's Wine Festival. My Dad is an Islamophobic atheist and so I could not tell him why I refused his offer. Needless to say, I made up some excuse about studying on a clear head, when really, I meant "worshipping on a clear head." That incident was obviously followed by an Astaghfirullah.

Profane language is rife among teenagers my age, and having lived with such Godless atheistic people, I cannot help but slip out some words occasionally too often. Astaghfirullah usually ensues, and it hurts me that sometimes I cannot control what I say, especially after stubbing my toe (which is also a common occurrence). Insha'Allah I will be able to control what I say.

But as with all our adversities, our reward will come in time.

I leave you with this:
"When Allah subjects you to adversity, He is opening your eyes to reality. Allah is allowing you to change you bad habits, to appreciate life, to give you the opportunity to repent for past sins, and correct your future actions, to raise your status in the hereafter, and Allah is showing you his love and power. By testing you, Allah is purifying your heart."

After Every Rainfall Must Come a Rainbow

Assalamu Alaykum.

This is a beautiful song that has built up my strength throughout my struggles. I hope you find meaning in it as I have. The song, dedicated to the Pakistani flood victims, is called "After Every Rainfall Must Come a Rainbow" by Outlandish, a band made up of two devout Muslims, and a devout Catholic. This just goes to show that Islam does not hate other religions.

I cry my heart out, let it all go, 'cause after every rainfall must come a rainbow.


10 Things That Scared (And Still Scares) Me About Islam

Assalamu Alaykum.

I hope to word this blog very carefully. I'm sure that all reverts out there will agree with me that there are things that petrified horrified worried me when I first began Islam. Here is my list:

  1. Terrorists Extremists - After 9/11, the media has never ceased to "Muslim-bash." There is not a week that goes by without a picture of the typical stereotypical Muslim guy on TV: Asian, black or greying hair (the whiter the hair, the more official the dude is), long beard, piercing eyes, etc. You get the picture. And it's not fair on the 99% of the Muslims who believe in peace, hence we greet people with "salaam." I find it difficult to completely immerse myself in Islam when I hear stories about suicide bomb plots, anti-gay revolutionists, women-bashers, etc. To any non-Muslim out there, we're not all like that.
  2. Pronouncing things wrong - I can't even say "Assalamu Alaykum" correctly and with a tinge of Arabic, how do you expect me to say "Alhamdu lillahi rabbil 'alamin"?!
  3. Head chopping - With regards to Shariah Law, I actually love the idea of "an eye for an eye." If you kill someone, you should be killed but only if the heirs of the victim say so (they heirs of the victim have a right to demand the murderer to be executed). I love that the heirs of the victim can waive that right as an act of charity. Love it. But I am so scared of committing a sin that I did not know of, and then suddenly my hand is chopped off, I'm lynched and dead. Insha'Allah that won't happen!
  4. Jihad - I am actually still a little scared of this one. Every non-Muslim person perceives "Jihad" to be an excuse to kill non-Muslims because God says so. I'm scared that if I go to a Muslim country they'll think I'm a non-Muslim and just kill me. Relinquishing rational irrational fears sure is difficult! Jihad, by the way, is a term used to refer to the struggles of a person to become a better Muslim (Greater Jihad). Lesser Jihad is the holy way argument thing. Most Muslims are only involved in Greater Jihad!
  5. Women bashing - I have no idea where I got this notion from. Astaghfirullah.
  6. Jesus is not real - Having lived as a Christian for a good few years of my life, having Jesus out of my life was like piercing a hole through me. Then Islam's "Isa" filled that hole up again.
  7. Faith bashing - I always thought that Islam is intolerant of other faiths. Guess I thought wrong.
  8. Brainwashing - I thought that Islam aims to brainwash everyone to become Muslim. Then I found "There is no compulsion in religion." Subhan'Allah.
  9. Punishment from God - I once had the CRAZY idea that God, or rather Allah, punishes us during our lifetime with earthquakes, volcanoes, etc. But it turns out, that doctrine is only held by the Catholics.
  10. Homosexuality is a sin - This still worries me. I know some gay people and I don't want to see them as nothing short of sinful, evil people.
There is my Top 10 list of things that worry me about Islam. I'm sure there are still some more swirling in the back of my head. Is there anything that worries you about Islam? Let me know as a comment below!

From Atheism to Catholicism to Islam

Assalamu Alaykum.

My religious views have changed a lot from when I was much younger. That's for sure. I remember being very cynical about religion. This was largely down to being such a geek and reading a heckuvalot of Science textbooks, and not a lot of religious teachings. And, of course, the parents.

But I suppose my father could not help being so anti-religious. His life story is arduous, and Allah (swt) sure did test his faith. Unfortunately, he has failed to see the opportunity. May Allah forgive him. My mother was not much 'around' in my first 10 years of life, and she certainly never communicated to me her religious views. Only the occasional, "We'll pray to God," which is common in Christian Asian families. (In the past, I never really understood the exact meaning or purpose of prayer.) She came and go as she worked in the Middle East, as a nurse. Oh and by the way, I was born in Oman, in the Middle East.

Then I went through a phase of being very Catholic. And I mean 'very'. I hung on to every word of the sermons at school, went to confession, took the 'Holy Bread' and 'Wine', which if you did not know, is meant to represent the body of Christ, which Christians eat to celebrate God's covenant. I remember reading the whole of the Bible at some point, or at least a huge chunk of it. Then praying the rosary, which is a series of prayers specifically made to the Blessed Virgin Mary (Jesus' mother), in order to ask Holy Mary to intervene in our situation in our daily lives. Yes, it does sound bizarre, and almost funny, to be praying to God's MOTHER?! If you want a lesson on Christianity, talk to me some time, but I'm quite confident in leaving behind the prayers towards God's mother (and all the Saints, etc., etc.)

A few years later, maybe when I was 12 or 13, I demoted my Catholic views to a more liberal 'Christianity'. This helped me a lot more because God ceased to become this creature that punished you for doing wrong things as He is in Catholicism. He, instead, became this kindly God, referred to His son and himself as 'Jesus' (which, by the way, still confuses me), come to save you from Hell, but ONLY if you believe in him.

Then it was only a chance encounter with a Muslima during a school trip that we were discussing faiths. I asked. I nagged. I persisted. I was greeted with nothing but answers, complete with quotes from The Holy Qur'an and an explanation of such quotes. My eyes were opened to Islam. And from that moment of epiphany, I have realised that Allah (swt) has led me to the gates of Islam. Masha'Allah.


Assalamu Alaykum.

Hi and welcome to this blog!

I am a recent revert to Islam, coming from a Catholic background. My mother is a Baptist, and my father is a baptised Roman Catholic, but he is an atheist. I went to a Catholic school for a good few years of my Primary Education, and a year of a Church of England Primary School. Then I was later plunged into a non-religious school, surrounded in the tide of atheists and agnostics that I call my classmates.

It is difficult being a revert. My parents are firm Islamophobes (and for this reason I have not yet told them, although I will insha'Allah). For years, I have been cultivated into feeling nothing short of hate, anger, repulsion and animosity towards Islam. Suffice to say, this is due to a long and well-worn family history.

I remember a funny incident that occurred when I was much younger - I was maybe 9 or 10 years old. I had a huge argument with my father, who was a then constant source of disagreement. After a dreary sermon about the qualities of a good son, I promptly replied that maybe I should just convert to Islam so that he can just hate me all he likes. Little did I know that a few years or so later, the voice of Allah will call me towards Islam, alhamdulillah.

Forward a few years in time. I am sitting in my bedroom, reading the Bible, questions in my mind swarming like flies. The bedside lamp is on, once in a while flickering, as though it were blinking. But my eyes were unblinking. It stood, riveted to the words of the Bible, soaking up words, thoughts, images. Then I picked up my (English) copy of The Holy Qur'an, and did the same. This time the lamp did not flicker. The night was still.

Then I made the decision that has changed my life for the better.

This blog starts here as a way of me communicating and expressing my struggle to become a better Muslim, and I hope that people who read this not only will be willing to help me (Jazaak'Allah if you are!), but also to relate to my stories of everyday life as I try to climb, and keep smiling.

Here starts a new chapter in my life.

I hope it's a good one.